Author Archives: matthewfugere
Sage Advice 116: My Star Trek: The Next Generation Fan Fiction*
*(I must begin this piece by admitting to everything I remember about Star Trek: The Next Generation: back when I was about eight-years-old, my dad would watch it after I was done watching X-Men the cartoon; the guy from Reading … Continue reading
Sage Advice 115: Summer Blockbusters Of 2013
I don’t like movies. I’m not sure if it’s because of the loud sounds or that time I walked into a room of three raccoons fighting with cotton swabs and fire and thought it was Transformers 2 for 4 hours, … Continue reading
Sage Advice 114: A Pussy Bias: Sexism In Our Use Of Vulgar Language
I say dick at least a hundred times a day. Of those hundred times, only about 30% are in reference to my body. The rest of those dick utterances are in reference to vague nouns and other peoples’ bodies. I … Continue reading
Sage Advice 113: Suggestions For New Flavors Of DORITOS®
The following is a list of suggestions for new flavors of DORITOS®: Leftover Chinese food Dog fur Bread Old newspaper Canadian Canadian bacon A mixture of all the current flavors Sweat Contact lenses Vague meat Nacho con diarrhea Diarrhea con nacho Diarrhea … Continue reading
Sage Advice 112: Harry Cram, The Film Critic Who Thinks Movies Are Real, Reviews The Dark Knight Rises
Occasionally, I like to have guest writers on Sage Advice. Harry Cram, a film critic I met in a Denny’s restroom when I was in grade school, has been reviewing films over thirty years. He also thinks all movies are … Continue reading
Sage Advice 111: 10 to Infinity
How many numbers are there? I’m not trying to trick you with this question, but I’ve gotten two different answers to what should be a straightforward query. Some people will say there are 10 numbers. They go as follows: 0 … Continue reading
Sage Advice 110: The Public Domain Of Me
To the best of my knowledge, I have only been quoted in a widely-read publication once in my entire life. Perhaps it’s important to qualify widely-read: I was quoted in my high school newspaper. Assuming even a slight fraction of … Continue reading
Sage Advice 109: Not A Single Space Betwixt Us
Don’t put anything in that seat there. I’m sitting there. I know the rest of the theatre is scarcely occupied and it’s like eleven in the morning on a Thursday, but I don’t care, I’m sitting right there. Go ahead … Continue reading
Sage Advice 107: Lions And Sloths And Linguistic Associations! Oh My!
We human folk often try to find our understanding of attributes and traits in nature. If we have the concept of strength in our word-bank, we look into the natural world to find a example of it (for quite some … Continue reading
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