Monthly Archives: July 2013
Sage Advice 113: Suggestions For New Flavors Of DORITOS®
The following is a list of suggestions for new flavors of DORITOS®: Leftover Chinese food Dog fur Bread Old newspaper Canadian Canadian bacon A mixture of all the current flavors Sweat Contact lenses Vague meat Nacho con diarrhea Diarrhea con nacho Diarrhea … Continue reading
Sage Advice 112: Harry Cram, The Film Critic Who Thinks Movies Are Real, Reviews The Dark Knight Rises
Occasionally, I like to have guest writers on Sage Advice. Harry Cram, a film critic I met in a Denny’s restroom when I was in grade school, has been reviewing films over thirty years. He also thinks all movies are … Continue reading
Sage Advice 111: 10 to Infinity
How many numbers are there? I’m not trying to trick you with this question, but I’ve gotten two different answers to what should be a straightforward query. Some people will say there are 10 numbers. They go as follows: 0 … Continue reading
Sage Advice 110: The Public Domain Of Me
To the best of my knowledge, I have only been quoted in a widely-read publication once in my entire life. Perhaps it’s important to qualify widely-read: I was quoted in my high school newspaper. Assuming even a slight fraction of … Continue reading
Sage Advice 109: Not A Single Space Betwixt Us
Don’t put anything in that seat there. I’m sitting there. I know the rest of the theatre is scarcely occupied and it’s like eleven in the morning on a Thursday, but I don’t care, I’m sitting right there. Go ahead … Continue reading
Sage Advice 107: Lions And Sloths And Linguistic Associations! Oh My!
We human folk often try to find our understanding of attributes and traits in nature. If we have the concept of strength in our word-bank, we look into the natural world to find a example of it (for quite some … Continue reading
Sage Advice 106: Who Or That
My understanding of the difference between who and that has always been wrapped around the idea as to whether something is human. So Matt is a who while table is a that. It’s an easy way to make your everyday speech sound credible, but … Continue reading
Sage Advice 105: Smelly Smells
Though I certainly adore each of my media to the physical world, my sense of smell is one with which I have a complimented relationship. I like whiff things that I know for fact are foul to smell. I can’t … Continue reading
Sage Advice 104: How Do You Guys Feel About Your Bodies This Time?
Because they’re actually quite brilliant. Some people are going to convince you that your body is a disgusting, smelly chunk of decaying flesh and your job as a human is to deal with it until your inevitable death. It’s a lovely … Continue reading
Sage Advice 