Monthly Archives: July 2013

Sage Advice 113: Suggestions For New Flavors Of DORITOS®

The following is a list of suggestions for new flavors of DORITOS®: Leftover Chinese food Dog fur Bread Old newspaper Canadian Canadian bacon A mixture of all the current flavors Sweat Contact lenses Vague meat Nacho con diarrhea Diarrhea con nacho Diarrhea … Continue reading

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Sage Advice 112: Harry Cram, The Film Critic Who Thinks Movies Are Real, Reviews The Dark Knight Rises

Occasionally, I like to have guest writers on Sage Advice. Harry Cram, a film critic I met in a Denny’s restroom when I was in grade school, has been reviewing films over thirty years. He also thinks all movies are … Continue reading

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Sage Advice 111: 10 to Infinity

How many numbers are there? I’m not trying to trick you with this question, but I’ve gotten two different answers to what should be a straightforward query. Some people will say there are 10 numbers. They go as follows: 0 … Continue reading

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Sage Advice 110: The Public Domain Of Me

To the best of my knowledge, I have only been quoted in a widely-read publication once in my entire life. Perhaps it’s important to qualify widely-read: I was quoted in my high school newspaper. Assuming even a slight fraction of … Continue reading

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Sage Advice 109: Not A Single Space Betwixt Us

Don’t put anything in that seat there. I’m sitting there. I know the rest of the theatre is scarcely occupied and it’s like eleven in the morning on a Thursday, but I don’t care, I’m sitting right there. Go ahead … Continue reading

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Sage Advice 108: Matthew Fugere: Ex-Garbage Baby

It’s a big deal for people to have an understanding of their roots, from where they began. Sometimes it’s about where your ancestors settled, eventually leading all the way up to you. Other times it’s just about how your family … Continue reading

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Sage Advice 107: Lions And Sloths And Linguistic Associations! Oh My!

We human folk often try to find our understanding of attributes and traits in nature. If we have the concept of strength in our word-bank, we look into the natural world to find a example of it (for quite some … Continue reading

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