Sage Advice 85: Exercise

The most important part about having a body is making sure it’s functional enough to not die. That sounds easy enough, but as your age advances and you begin to realize that, while certainly creative, “The Hyperbolic Chipmunks” is not the a great name for a metal band, your body becomes a far more difficult thing to care for. The meat-n-bone sack of flesh you drag around is like the opposite of a child; instead of slowly developing into an independently functioning system that doesn’t require your guidance, it demands more and more attention and care as time goes by.

That’s why exercise is so important. It’s crucial for the future of your body to construct and maintain an engaging training regimen. Some people like to narrow this down to getting a decent amount of cardiovascular activity in their daily lives. Like most things, however, I take it up a notch. For every moment most people spend jogging or doing pushups, I spend double that time thinking about those activities.

I know for a fact that thinking takes some amount of energy. I’m not sure if that energy is equivalent to the amount of energy it takes to jog a mile, but I am sure that it’s way easier. The best part about my mental-physical fitness workouts is what all I can do while I’m doing them. I’m not just talking about what I’m able to do in the physical world either. The me jogging in my head isn’t just jogging. No, he is jogging and fighting a bear and writing a novel and curing cancer and kickboxing and trying on new pants and avoiding the plague and collecting stamps all at the same time.

That’s where mental exercise has to be better than real exercise. How many more calories do you think you burn if you’re thinking about fighting a bear while you think about jogging? It’s gotta be more than if you just actually jogged.


-Matthew Fugere

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