Sage Advice 69: Indie

I enjoy listening to indie rock. It’s a great genre of music where bands use the guise of trying out new sounds and ideas without the control of a corporate manipulator to cover the fact that they’re really just copying stuff Lou Reed did forty years ago while he was on a heroin bender. Nevertheless, the soft melodic sounds of the indie genre plays to a certain aspect of my personality, the one that likes to look at stars and write vague, incomprehensible sentences onto the foreground of a black and white photo with a grainy filter (you know, something like “You said you would come back, but you never did” over a picture of some sad looking guy staring at a tree).

The best parts about indie music are all the parts you haven’t heard of. That’s practically indie currency; your ability to tell people you listen to something they don’t is how you craft your indie persona. Well, luckily for me, I listen to a ton of bands people have never heard of because I made them up because I am awesome and cool and have friends. Here are just a few of my favorite indie bands that you have never heard of:

  • The Ironic Lung
  • Chin’s Rollercoaster of Climatic Excitement
  • The French
  • People Stare at People
  • A Sloth Brigade
  • You’ll Never Hear of It
  • //:-)
  • The Top Hat Brigade
  • The Brigade Brigade
  • I Don’t Understand Zero
  • Horsesneakers
  • Seattle Is Still a Place
  • The Buzzing Sounds Records Make
  • We Didn’t Give This Much Thought
  • So, have you heard of any of those bands? Probably not. And not because I made them up. You’re just not into the scene enough to really get the full indie experience. Oh, you thought this was a paragraph? How wrong you are: this is a band name. Seem excessive? That’s why we’re indie.
  • Paragraphs

Well, there’s a list of my favorite indie bands. You may not have ever heard of them, but you have now. Wait, does that mean I have to surrender my indie cred? How does this work? How am I supposed to be better than people if they have the same knowledge of things that I have? How can I seem superior by sharing things? Do me a favor: just ignore all the stuff you just read. Not this, but those bands. You still haven’t heard of them. Thanks.


-Matthew Fugere

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