Sage Advice 51: I’m Swimming Towards Pie

I’m convinced that, at some point in history, fast-food chains and brand-name clothing companies worked together.

Let’s think about this. Brand-name clothes seem to be all about the name; everyone wants to know they’re wearing the most popular or expensive labels available. Considering this, it would be safe to assume that the creator’s of such clothing would want their label easily identified on the fabric.

Well, how much room do you have to show off your label? At best? A few inches. Maybe on a breast pocket or on the back of the collar. It’s important not to forcefully impose your marketing on the consumer; you must be subtle yet effective.

So, shirt-crafters don’t have much room on a normal person to embroider their logo, thus spreading the word of their brand becomes a difficult task.

This is where fast-food chains come in.

The more hamburgers, fries, and sodas you can get the cloth wearing people to shove down their throats, the bigger they’ll surely become. The bigger they are, the more room the clothing companies have to brand them with their brand.

Then we can consider the actual size of the clothes. Surely clothing companies have to charge a little extra to create bigger clothes, and there must be a way to manipulate the retail markup on such clothing to maximize profits.

Food and clothes. Two things everyone needs. Put ‘em together and you get yourself a business model that makes money, exploits people, and forces everyone to feel fat and poor. I should work in advertising.


-Matthew Fugere

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One Response to Sage Advice 51: I’m Swimming Towards Pie

  1. LFFL says:


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