Sage Advice 103: What’s Up With Ducks?

I have a hard time understanding a comfortable life for the micro. I’m well aware it’s possible; there are plenty of tiny things that exist all around me. I don’t have a hard time understanding the opposite either: the macro. I understand, or at the very least appreciate, the scale of the world and the solar system and the galaxy and the universe. That concept is something I’m able to grasp, even if at an elementary level.

I actually don’t have a hard time understanding the really tiny, though. Quarks, cells, atoms, everything being broken down into molecules. I get that. I can have that thought in my head at the same time as the macro thought. I get that something can be infinitely expansive and infinitely microscopic. Infinitely reaching zero or infinitely reaching everything.

I guess what I don’t understand—when I really break down the conflict in thought I’m having—are these ducklings. Holy shit, have you seen this video of these ducklings getting thrown around by wind?

Seriously, ducklings? You can’t stand against wind? Wind is by far the easiest thing to not get your shit completely handed to you by. Oh, you want to avoid wind embarrassment? Gain mass. Ducklings, and other tiny creatures like them, frighten me because I’m absolutely terrified for their wellbeing. I often lay awake thinking of the many life-ending possibilities tiny animals likes squirrels, ducklings, scorpions, and puppies have to endure on a daily basis.

Guys. Seriously. Get some mass. Either become denser or move to a place where wind isn’t a factor like the moon or underground. I don’t want to have to tell you guys this again. Ducklings, you have your orders.  

-Matthew Fugere

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