Sage Advice 32: DVR The Revolution

If you put any stake in science-fiction or people who turn down having a regular job so they can spend their time thinking about the unanswerable—philosophers— then you are most likely convinced that machines will one day become sentient and proceed to perfect and, shortly thereafter, destroy human civilization.

With any luck, Robot Armageddon (or Armagebot as I ca—wait Robogeddon sounds way better—or Robogeddon as I call it) won’t happen within our lifetimes. However, you and I both know that luck is never on the squishy flesh side of conflict. Rather, luck tends to favor the one who can generate an accurate statistical percentage pertaining to its chances of overcoming whatever squishy flesh stands in its way.

Simply put: robots are scary.

But what can we do to prevent our machine based antagonists from preparing their inevitably brutal onslaught onto humanity? Well, the first step is to wipe out the future enemies’ grandparents… now. Ok, here’s what you do. See that computer you’re reading this on right now?

Smash the hell out of it!

Do it!

Kick that robot bastard right in his smug face!

Now!

If you’re still reading this, you didn’t kick your computer in the head. That’s a good thing. You see what we did just now? We got the gullible people out of the conversation. Now that Ragey-McRetard is out of the picture, let’s talk serious.

Between you and me, there is so not a Robogeddon coming. Like ever. All you have to do if you ever get afraid of a machine destroying you is just unplug the stupid thing. Unless it’s running on some kind of self-supplying solar generator. Then you are totally screwed. But I really wouldn’t worry about that. As for now, we completely have these electronic jerks enslaved. Suck it, technology!

Sincerely,

-Matthew Fugere

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