Sage Advice 23: It Takes A Village

Raising a child can be a rewarding experience. Though I’ve never had any children of my own, I often spend my free time standing at least 100 feet from elementary schools to learn the ways of today’s youth. With this experience, you know for a fact that I am an expert on the subject.

How successful you are at bringing up a youngling is almost entirely dependent on how well you teach the child to be self-sustaining. The more independent a kid is the better he or she will turn out as an adult. This process of, as medical-professionals call it, getting the bastard off the tit can begin as young as six months of age.

The first steps are quite easy for the guardian of the child to perform. Start off by leaving your offspring outside. I’m not saying drive them out to the woods and hide them in a tree (that’s around age four), but begin by leaving them on the front porch or somewhere similar. Perhaps even inside the mailbox. If your six-month-old can survive a night outside with no food or water, he or she will be far more likely to run his or her own company one day if you don’t accidently kill him.

Taking a laissez-faire approach to parenting can be incredibly effortless for the guardian and mostly but entirely not beneficial for the child. If there is any other way to watch your kids that is as easy as not watching your kids, I highly recommend you pursue that method and then come tell me all about it.

Sincerely,

-Matthew Fugere

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