Far too many people go everyday without shelter. The population of homeless people is incredibly sad, but no matter how hard we try to ignore them, they just seem to keep being homeless. But what can we do to help as non-homeless people—or homefuls? Pretending they don’t exist only works for so long before a bunch of people who care for some reason decide to keep telling you they do exist.
Well, I’ve come up with a way for us homeful folk to help those who are annoyingly less fortunate with little to no effort.
If there’s one thing I know about homeless people (I actually know eight things about homeless people) it’s that they love sleeping in/on/around/with trash/cardboard/milk crates/dirt. It’s clear that homeless people truly love being covered in the warmth and comfort that is urban waste discharge.
Every other method of helping the homeless takes far too much energy with little to no payoff. How can we be expected to donate money or food to them when we need that money and food to support our homeful lifestyle? In other words, how can we be sure that we aren’t like homeless people if we’re not buying iPads and throwing away out-of-date food? And if we don’t know that we aren’t them, how could we ever be bothered to help them?
The logic of charity comes full circle.
The best way to help out the homeless is to consistently remind yourself you aren’t homeless by wasting and littering all the things you consider waste. Remember, one man’s Ew, throw that out is another man’s I really wish I didn’t have to sleep on the ground.