The only printed publication that makes sense to read for information regarding what women really are and think is Cosmo. Anything that can convince people they are fat and dress poorly so quickly has to be onto something great. But Cosmo isn’t just great for making women feel bad about themselves; it’s also a great way to understand what men are really like.
For the longest time I figured, since I was a guy, I understood what being a guy was really about. That was until I read an advice column from a guy who writes about relationships in Cosmo. Who better to receive advice from on what men are really like than a man who writes for a magazine specifically targeted to women?
This author’s big philosophy was that relationships came down to one important fact: men are simpler than women think and women are more complicated than men think. At first I thought that was a cliché enforced by Julia Roberts movies and that this writer was a few words away from telling me men are from one uninhabitable planet and women were from a different, equally uninhabitable planet.
But then I stopped thinking about what I thought about this person’s thinking and just thought about what he thought about his thinking. He was absolutely right! Once I let someone else’s thinking think for me, I was able to accept whatever they were thinking, thus making my thinking more easier for thinking thinks.
I guess the lesson here is that you should never think for yourself. Let people who have their own advice columns tell you what to think. Is there any other way to live? I’ll tell you once I read about it in an advice column. Oh wait, I just did.